Breaking the Silence: The Hidden Pressure on White Women to Date and Marry Outside Their Race

Breaking the Silence: The Hidden Pressure on White Women to Date and Marry Outside Their Race

By: Cedar Valkyrie, AFP Contributor 

In this article, I will cover my experience with living in a family and a society that has applied an over-abundant amount of pressure on White women to date, marry and procreate with people of color. This is an often overlooked problem, and one which must be discussed unashamedly and loudly in order to solve.

I come from a rather typical White family, and was raised to, “treat all people with respect, unless they disrespect you.” I was taught to treat people of color as if there was no difference between them and I. This conditioning ran deep, but of course when I was young I didn’t see it as conditioning, I saw it as completely “normal” to believe all of these things. My siblings believed this twisted logic with every fiber of their beings, however I developed an underlying conflict with it as I started to learn for myself just how different we truly are. I began to understand just how unnatural it really is to find non-Whites attractive as a White woman. Three of my four sisters married colored men, and initially I didn’t have a problem with that (for them). I thought to myself, “Well, if they are happy, then I am happy for them.”

But alas, they were not happy, and I slowly began to see that their husbands held true to the stereotypes that I was always told not to believe. My oldest sister’s husband cheated on her, often, constantly degraded and emotionally abused her, and was an overall terrible partner and father. He was also a very uncomfortable person to be around, due to the way he would talk so disrespectfully to my sister, as well as the way he would treat my family so poorly (myself included). My third sister married a man from some island that I’d never even heard of, and initially I thought he was a great guy for her. However, once again, I slowly started to learn of his emotional abuse towards her, as well as the drunk rage and physical abuse that she endured at his hand.

Meanwhile as I became interested in dating and finding my soulmate, I always had an image in my head of what I wanted, what I found most attractive, and felt most comfortable with in my future husband. Naturally, it was always a White man that worked hard and wanted the same things in life that I did. Unfortunately my siblings would talk to me about this preference, and wouldn’t hesitate to show me pictures of black men and other men of non-White origin to try and convince me of their attractive qualities. When confronted with these supposed “attractive qualities”, I simply saw none, and overall I just didn’t find them attractive in any way. Due to this, they began the process of trying to brainwash me, trying to convince me that I should find these non-White men attractive, and that if I didn’t find any colored men attractive that I was racist.

Due to my conditioning, the word “racist” carried such a negative connotation, and it scared me to be labeled as one. I often thought to myself, “How could my own family believe such terrible things about me?”. After a long period of this external pressure, I finally caved in and dated a man that came from the same island as my middle sister’s husband. I thought to myself,

“Maybe I’ll find him more attractive if I just try to date him.Maybe I was just broken, and to fix myself, it’d require me to just give him as a non-White man a chance.”

Oh how wrong I was…

He emotionally and physically abused me, and he cheated on me multiple times, blaming me for it, all while telling me that I wasn’t worth his time and that I deserved the abuse. I stayed with this man off and on for about a year, before finally something inside of me screamed for me to leave. My oldest sister was the worst at making me feel like I deserved this sort of treatment, and that this sort of behavior from a man was normal and okay. She was conditioned so deeply to sympathize with black people, and other non-Whites, not only from our parents but from society and her own non-White husband, that she could not understand how unacceptable this behavior was.

When I married my husband, who is White, this same sister began sending me links to articles and videos about how all White people are born and raised racist. These videos and articles explained how us Whites need to re-educate ourselves, and that we must sympathize with black and brown people, because “they’ve lived hard lives.” To me, this always came off as though she really believed in just marrying them out of pity for their ancestors’ lives. Or that I somehow owed black men my emotional and physical health and well-being, just because they MAY have had ancestors that were slaves. That logic doesn’t sit well with me one bit. How dare anyone insinuate that I, or ANY White woman, give a black man the right to abuse us in any way, for any reason. There is simply no good or moral reason to believe or live that way. Unfortunately however, that is the underlying message that modern society pushes on us as White women. It is a culture built on guilting us into submission to the black man. It feels as if this is done partly to offer our emotional and physical well-being as a consolation for what their ancestors may have endured.

Unfortunately, this is not just my family’s way of life, it is not just my family’s beliefs. It is very common for White families these days to encourage and brainwash their children, especially their daughters, to marry black people. Comments such as “Go find yourself a black man and have beautiful mixed babies together.” or “Oh look how cute those little mixed babies are! Don’t you just wish you had one?” are so incredibly harmful in many ways. Take me as an example; I believed that I was broken for not finding non-White men attractive, and when I tried dating one to “fix” my racism, I put myself in a traumatizing and dangerous situation. All of this was done out of fear that I was going to be called racist, simply for not having dated one.

This sick and anti-White way of thinking puts our beautiful White women at risk. We are taught to be so afraid of a simple meaningless word, one which holds much less weight than we’re led to believe, and for what? To prove to non-Whites and leftists that we aren’t so terrible? To show black people that we are accepting of their behavior? To give non-Whites free access to our mental as well as physical health and well-being, simply as a consolation prize for convincing us to be with them? I for one am not accepting of their abuse of our White women, and I believe that more White women need to stand in solidarity with our White men in order to reject the brainwashing that falsely teaches us that procreating with those outside of our race is natural.